What Representing Men in Divorce Taught Me About Fatherhood | Marilyn York | TEDxUniversityofNevada

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TEDx Talks

10 сарын өмнө

Attorney Marilyn York owns a Men’s Rights Family Law Firm in Reno Nevada, established in 2001. She and her ten female employees focus on representing men for two reasons: 1. As her talk explains, fathers are crucial in the upbringing and development of their children; and 2. Fathers are the disadvantaged parent in family court and society and while the laws are improving, the statistics are not. There are currently more than 17,000,000 children growing up in America without their fathers and every year this number is growing. According to the Center for Disease Control, children from fatherless homes account for 90% of homeless and runaway children; 71% of high school dropouts and 63% of youth suicides. Listen to this talk to find out how you can help America's 17,000,000 fatherless children avoid these fates! Marilyn D. York is a Men's Rights Divorce Attorney, licensed in California since 1998 and Nevada since 1999, where she is a Certified Family Law Specialist. Since 2001, Marilyn has owned her law firm in Reno, Nevada, where she and her 9 female employees specifically represent men in divorce and family law battles. Marilyn chose her career because of her passion for children and relationships but most of all, Marilyn is driven to help underdogs. While the laws are improving for men, not all laws are yet gender equal and the interpretation and enforcement of those that are, have a long way to go. Despite her focus on representing men, Marilyn has a deep compassion for women in need as well. It isn't lost on Marilyn that women remain disadvantaged outside Family Court. She serves that need as Board President for a local housing program for homeless young women, Nevada Youth Empowerment Project, or NYEP. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Сэтгэгдлүүд
daniel akanro
daniel akanro Цагийн өмнө
Dad power let us go!
Ramzi Bibi
Ramzi Bibi 4 цагийн өмнө
I dont think women understood equality when they asked for it...
Arjun Kumar
Arjun Kumar 4 цагийн өмнө
Its just proof that law makers and governments dont know wtf they are doing. Even the slightest changes take years. They are so useless and outdated in some areas.
Just a Bloke
Just a Bloke 4 цагийн өмнө
What an intelligent confident woman, her father must be proud indeed.
DraculaCronqvist
DraculaCronqvist 4 цагийн өмнө
Male privilege means suffering. Glad that at least a few people want to change this.
Mark D
Mark D 5 цагийн өмнө
Bless this intelligent objective Lady 👍
Adnan Kaleemi
Adnan Kaleemi 5 цагийн өмнө
Father and Mother are EQUALLY important for a child's psychology.
kareena k
kareena k 6 цагийн өмнө
Marilyn raises many good points. However, I have to ask--do all of these "fathers" always want to be involved in their offspring's lives? So many guys get angry and feel that they were "trapped" into fatherhood by some woman they thought was on birth control (as if birth control is solely a woman's responsibility) and many males seem very angry that some woman didn't "take precaution" to not get pregnant, though she didn't get pregnant by herself, and seem to think that preventing pregnancy is the sole responsibility of the woman. Maybe my thoughts don't apply to the father's who honestly want their children--it's just so strange how humans can perceive a child a gift or a curse depending on their perspective.
Del
Del 7 цагийн өмнө
Having higher moral standards than todays norm would fix a large percentage of this problem. Just saying.
Luke Fenech
Luke Fenech 8 цагийн өмнө
So excellent.
Mike Scarfe
Mike Scarfe 11 цагийн өмнө
Thank you for what you’re doing. We could use the help to fight for fathers. So men are in abusive controlling relationships where they have no say. Just go to work and bring home the money. ( for the bills) but not see a single cent.
Eric Neuharth
Eric Neuharth 11 цагийн өмнө
Well thought through and presented. I'm going through the court system and though I love my daughter unconditionally and have parented her..differently than my ex. I provide character, balance, discipline and tell the truth and work hard. Unfortunantly ex pretty much hates me and can't understand why daughter is mis-behaving. It was so bad they basically ganged up got verbal abusive and I just cant do my best parenting. So I gotten 2 order of protections written against me and a lot of lies from the Mother goes into those. My daughter even distribuling lies to the mother and send video's of her yelling and saying terrible things. I've taken polygraphs All my friends say "Walk away" there is nothing you can do!! Crazy! I'm just going into the courts and tell the truth and see where it falls. Maybe I get time, maybe not, but lying is insane It's one of the most painful things a Father can go through to lose a relationship with his 13 yr old daughter. Wow 4.9K down votes!! She didn't say one bad thing about Mothers either. Despite losing my daughter multiple times, I still don't cast the Mother down, does no good...even when the truth would serve her well.
Azs bs
Azs bs 11 цагийн өмнө
I read one or two comments to the Kings fighting for ur children blessed you all , sorry you all hve to fight shouldn't be like that. So there really is an advantage when it comes to family law for Women. Well this women is neutral , love her shes knows the value of a father.
Rob Roy
Rob Roy 12 цагийн өмнө
Congratulations to the feminists out there who have created the monsters that are delusional wives & ex-wives who are literally out of their minds with hate for the man that they repeatedly abused throughout the marriage, only worse so once the tragic union mercifully ended and the feminists responsible for creating our unimaginably abusive and unjust, gynocentric family law “justice” systems that perpetuate the wrongful abuse of fathers which is entirely to the detriment of the children they are supposed to be protecting from their insane, narcissistic mother. Good for you Girl Power, you won and the kids have lost. Morons, is it worth it to you? 🤔
Patrick Allen
Patrick Allen 12 цагийн өмнө
I listened to a broadcasts about a group of California woman had a club about looking for starter husbands for their daughters. Like a starter home then sale it off.
C.C
C.C 13 цагийн өмнө
My ex-wife(going through divorce right now) refused to work, she wanted to be a stay at home mother when our son was born. She then proceeded to put him in preschool before the age of 2, full-time 5 days a week from 8:30-4:30. She is also an alcoholic, suffers from mental illness which causes her to literally verbally attack both her son and I, and takes antidepressants which barely take the edge off and mixes it with the alcohol. She is drunk 4-5 times a week, being hungover causes her to verbally attack our son. I literally have to put myself between her and him, who just turned 5 in November, just to get her to calm down. All he would do is ask too many questions or be too loud. She is emotionally abusive to both my son and I, and a host of physical abuse to me. On October 31st, I went to bed early due to being sick. I was woken up by my wife yelling at our son. She fed him a bunch of candy, sweet drinks, and skipped his bedtime routine. She was pissed that he wouldn't stay in bed. I volunteered to sleep with him to help him fall asleep. He did. After midnight, we were awoken to my intoxicated wife, blasting music and turning all the lights on in the house. Which is common when she is drunk. She wanted to talk, and let me know that she was having an affair. I found out later that she couldn't get ahold of her lover who said he wanted nothing else to do with her because he didn't want to lose half his stuff to his wife, so she woke us up. She manipulated me into going over to his house to tell his wife. She agreed to never speak to him again before I left. We have an indoor camera which recorded the audio. While walking to his place about four km away - she hid the car keys on me, and attacked me verbally for accusing her of hiding them when all I said was "Do you know where the car keys are?" - she called him several times and he answered this time as his wife knew I was coming over. After I left their place, I called my wife. She was fine to talk to, wanted to work on things, and sounded fine, but then would get aggressive and hostile and hang up on me. Listening to the audio, those were the times he was calling her. When I got home she was on the couch with yet more alcohol, with a blanket, and on the phone with him with a smile on her face. I was calm the entire time. She then went to the kitchen and tried to get the Google home to call 9-1-1. I asked from the other room why she was doing that, and received no response. She then came into the living room and picked up a pair of crafting scissors from the table. She walked up behind me as I was sitting and asked me to leave the house. I responded "What? No." She then stabbed me with the pair of scissors in the side of my stomach. I called 9-1-1 and pressed charges. She was released literally hours later. When she later came to collect some belongings as she had a court order preventing her from being at our home, she spoke with the escort officer. He promised her full custody. The next day after taking a small road trip with our son to collect my thoughts, I returned home. We have an automatic garage door. It wouldn't open for some reason. When it finally did, my son moved under it, but it turned out that when she was being escorted by the RCMP she broke the latch which holds it to the rails. It came crashing down on top of him. I rushed him to the hospital, and called the non emergency to report what happened and ask them why if she was being escorted, how did she break the garage door? The RCMP officer who promised her full custody showed up at the hospital. He asked me what happened, and I explained, he then tried to get me to give my son to my wife, to which I said no. He then became hostile and aggressive. I asked him to leave so that my son could be treated in peace. He did so. After fifteen minutes of colouring Thomas the tank engine with our son, the officer returned and arrested me under the mental health act, which he can only do if I am a danger to myself or others, I asked why and he says "Your story doesn't make sense." He then called my wife and had her pick up our son from the hospital. She has allowed me to see him for two hours supervised, in November and December (Not even on Christmas). I am told by my lawyer that I will be lucky to get any custody for upwards of a year. I have to pay for supervised visits which will cost me more than I can literally afford, I have to stop paying debt just so I can see my son. She is currently taking 49% of my income, and pays nothing to our joint debt. All the while she is claiming she gave up her career for our family so I should be paying up to 12 years of spousal support even though standard is half the time of the relationship - so 4. Yet even to her lover, I have texts stating that she never wants to work. She is now living with her mother and step father.(Her mother cheated on her two previous husband's, and now married for a third time) both of them are alcoholics. High functioning ones but still drunk every night we have ever seen them. They are four people in a 750sq ft apartment. She ripped him out of his preschool, abandoned his application for private school, and moved him out of the city. Despite physically and emotionally abusive behavior, mental illness, alcoholism, and pending charges for stabbing me with a pair of scissors. I will be lucky to have a night with my son within a year. The problem is though, that I can't even fight the unfair treatment because the laws and beliefs by the judge is what causes it.
Rob Looneycrow
Rob Looneycrow 13 цагийн өмнө
Feminism.. all about getting that power.. this is stuff it leads to.
Guppy Grass Galore Guy
Guppy Grass Galore Guy 13 цагийн өмнө
She should be president of USA! I tried telling people about this but no one listened.
SSDi Boi
SSDi Boi 15 цагийн өмнө
The best ? Would be what's the best baby wipes to use on your child? HaHaHa I dont think yall understand how uncomfortable some wipes make u feel n how many babies hav shaken babies syndrome because of it🤔
C. Schoenfeld
C. Schoenfeld 15 цагийн өмнө
The laws have improved, but the statistics have not... ...because the vast majority of fatherless children didn't have their father taken away from them because of the law. Don't get me wrong, the law must be fair to men and promote fathers' involvement in their kids' lives. But if we want to address the problem on a macro scale, the most important thing is to get the deadbeat dads to step up.
Martin Virza
Martin Virza 15 цагийн өмнө
👍👍👍
Jaegar19Ultima
Jaegar19Ultima 16 цагийн өмнө
Also women who don't love a hard working man who provides should not be selfish and entitled and should stay sleeping around and broke.
Hannah Smith
Hannah Smith 16 цагийн өмнө
I completely agree with what she is saying. My only fear is an abusive father getting partial custody. I KNOW that they are a small portion of the fathers attempting to get custody of their children. I also remember watching my mother cry every other weekend when she had to drop my sister off with her father because the police didn't take her seriously when she showed up with bruises and countless stories of his abusive actions, so there was no basis for him NOT getting partial custody. He petitioned for it as the lat way to torture my mother and got partial custody of my sister for a majority of her childhood. The work she is doing is amazing and I hope that as many fit fathers get some kind of custody of their children. I just hope that we continue to keep bad men away from the children they do not deserve.
Sonia G
Sonia G 16 цагийн өмнө
NOT ALL FATHERS are NOT EQUAL and NEITHER ARE ALL MOTHERS! I had a great relationship with my father but my older siblings from same mom and dad called him a tyrant--after he died. I raised my by myself after surviving poisoning twice by my ex-husand, their dad. Thank God I don't live in that desert land where you and your divorce business thrives. Having said that I will say many fathers, mothers and children suffer because of the Family Court/Divorce system and you are a part of that pathetic system. We live in Godless society and that is the deepest problem not new laws not old laws, "a man's heart is utterly wicked"
Deric Hudson
Deric Hudson 16 цагийн өмнө
Fadder
Shepherd
Shepherd 17 цагийн өмнө
The woman's bitterness leads her to use the system as a weapon to reap revenge.
Clutch Genes
Clutch Genes 17 цагийн өмнө
I've heard Marilyn speak before and she's amazing. Her sons are blessed to have a mother like her that understands the importance of fatherhood.
Dennis Thompson
Dennis Thompson 18 цагийн өмнө
The curvy france hopefully heap because crowd historically manage excluding a spiteful drop. beneficial, entertaining playground
Aethelbeorn
Aethelbeorn 18 цагийн өмнө
As a person who grew up without a father figure. That hurt during the part when you asked me to close my eyes and think of my father who did none of those things. It got better though. The part of erasing him from my thoughts that is.
Hayden Myers
Hayden Myers 18 цагийн өмнө
Topics like prison reform, social work and foster care are all incredibly valid and important, but if we want to prevent the vast majority of these cases, it's time for culture to stop undermining fatherhood.
Cooper Sand
Cooper Sand 19 цагийн өмнө
You will never get a fair shake with the law as a divorced father, you could be Mr Rogers, wouldn’t matter. It all depends on what the mother allows.
Bernard Ward
Bernard Ward 19 цагийн өмнө
I loved this video until the 9:20 mark where she states 2.5 million divorces a year and says 'lucky me" . This lady may have meant it as a joke but that sounds so much like I had for a lawyer who represented me, it was about the money not the lives these people play with! I too am one of those fathers who can tell you his son's and daughter's favorite super hero is, color, sport and activities. I also know their school principal's, Doctor's info, and raised them as mom traveled across country as a flight attendant. Canada is far behind on fathers rights so sad! I miss having them everyday and I fight has much as I can to be with them.
Selfone Eleven
Selfone Eleven 19 цагийн өмнө
This is awesome! I really wish it was true for every father... Some fathers make conscious decisions to not be there... Would be awesome if all adults could be actual adults when it came to things related to children!
Selfone Eleven
Selfone Eleven 19 цагийн өмнө
This is awesome! I really wish it was true for every father... Some fathers make conscious decisions to not be there... Would be awesome if all adults could be actual adults when it came to things related to children!
frank serpico
frank serpico 20 цагийн өмнө
she has to profit off the destruction of men's families to understand the significance of fatherhood. ok. i can tell you think you're pretty entertaining, york. i just don't see the comedy in this. lucky me.
Comec
Comec 20 цагийн өмнө
The 4.9k dislikes are single mothers who hate their child's father.
Marvelcom DC
Marvelcom DC 20 цагийн өмнө
Main contributor to Fatherless families are the Feminists.
Kerry Brown
Kerry Brown 21 цагийн өмнө
Such an interesting Ted Talk. The interesting point at the end when she stated "if you are an employer, grant the father's the ability to (basically) be with their kids during events, etc. I had a supervisor in a previous job who refused to do this. She stated that "men shouldn't get this kind of time off." Glad I am long gone from that job.
Rnd
Rnd 21 цагийн өмнө
Men need to make the effort too. Changing laws won’t change people’s behaviors.
Elizabeth X
Elizabeth X 11 цагийн өмнө
There are men who make the effort but are still disadvantaged. That was the whole point of vid. Sure there are men who just leave, but men that go thru divorce and actually care about their children almost never get equal rights.
Francisco Luis Bahamonde
Francisco Luis Bahamonde 14 цагийн өмнө
Did you even watch the video? Lol
bear rights
bear rights 21 цагийн өмнө
My sons mom left him behind when he was three weeks old. Hes autistic. Im so glad I have him and I love him very much. But I know it would be so much better if he had a mom too
Sineade Williams
Sineade Williams 23 цагийн өмнө
whats unfortunate is that we got so used to the rhetoric of dead beat dads that it became the rule not the exception so now alot of people go into assuming the father will be dead beat before even giving him a chance. i feel like this a huge contributor to the current state of the world where dads are concerned. society will really overlook deadbeat mothers because of this false idea
Cidney Lysander
Cidney Lysander Өдрийн өмнө
There are a lot of other cultures and countries where the father is given preference in matters of custody (Japan and many Islamic countries, for example). It would be interesting to see how not having a relationship with their mother effects these children psychologically.
mark jagger
mark jagger Өдрийн өмнө
re stats about kids without dads- id bet all the ones who have a dad who drop out school, end up on drugs, in jail, etc who have one in name only and a lousy family life.
StretchGames HD
StretchGames HD Өдрийн өмнө
I love this. But, us dad's will always be a pawn to play with in any system implemented. We have always been 2nd class citizens mums first. It personally upsets me knowing I'm the one who protects my son in any situation. I even moved my son away for 3 months to help his mum with her mental health. Even though I safeguarded my son apparently I done wrong for trying to help her stay in her sons life. I sent him to my mum I stayed with him for a week. I then came home leaving him at my mums so I can help his mum. I had knives put in my face I had rips in my skin from her attacking me I had more than enough evidence and proof I needed my son away. But I was still put into a legal situation when I was simply protecting him. And if I'd have left him to be hurt by his mum I'd have also been in the wrong. There is no easy way for dad's to get our rights we deserve.
Moreno Rocha
Moreno Rocha Өдрийн өмнө
As a father and a husband, I feel really blessed after watching this. I just couldn't live without my kid, and I thank my wife for being as great as she is. For all the fathers out there facing hardships, plant your feet and stay strong. Your kids deserve it. Thanks for sharing.
Spiritual Anarchist
Spiritual Anarchist Өдрийн өмнө
She looks the part. I bet this lawyer rips the opposition apart.
Diamond Hurd
Diamond Hurd Өдрийн өмнө
So many men in the comments are patting themselves on the back and upset with society for “favoring” women. I don’t think that’s what she was saying at all. She said men generally under value their positions as fathers so she likes to represent men who do in fact care to actively be in their children’s lives. Women are “favored” in court because they usually put in the hard work. They’re making their appointments, cooking, cleaning, keeping up with school, handling tough emotions, wrap gifts, plan parties, be involved in education and social life, after school ciriculum, etc. meanwhile dads do funny Easter tricks and know your favorite super hero? Women often have to play both a father and a mother because that’s the roles Disney/deadbeat dads force on them. Women have historically been left no other choice than be 100% of both parents while dad steps in for the easier parts. So if men want to be valued and appreciated, y’all need to step it up and stop crying over dynamics you have created. It’s crazy, dads are applauded for visiting his child once a week but god forbid a mom do that. Men have such easy parenting roles. Also sad that some of you guys are confusing your fathers “tough love” with toxic masculinity.
Diamond Hurd
Diamond Hurd 6 цагийн өмнө
@Jay Ryder you completely missed the point of this ted talk and my comment, but go off!
Jay Ryder
Jay Ryder 22 цагийн өмнө
Spoken like a true self absorbed vindictive nuthatch.
Lesha
Lesha Өдрийн өмнө
This is such a load of rubbish lol. Picture my fathers strong hands hitting me, remember his deep voice yelling hatred at me? God I wish I could erase my memories of my father. And as for why they don't know any of the IMPORTANT information about their children's lives, it's because all of the responsibility of actually RAISING the children falls on the mothers, Dad may know some piece of inconsequential faf about their play time but guess what, that doesn't actually matter in terms of raising healthy happy children. GOOD fathers are important but extremely extremely rare, can't wait to meet one one day.
I T
I T Өдрийн өмнө
Many fathers are not strong, supportive, secure, healthy... Good thing that the speaker had a good father, 60% of North American children don't... Human nature.
john cao
john cao Өдрийн өмнө
The womanly support dewailly argue because banker assembly tumble including a glossy bridge. medical, scared cockroach
Trusty Patchy
Trusty Patchy Өдрийн өмнө
Major Depressive Disorder, a hair away from throwin myself in front of a passing train, barely passing grades if not failing, anxiety, and so much more. Surprise surprise, dad gone at 3 months, step dad divorced and barely seen, second step dad mid teens, divorced and gone after 5 ish years. Cherry on top is an emotionally abusive mother who had the law on her side through all of this. Watching this now I'm on the verge of breaking down, and the best I can do is hope to be the father someone deserves in the future.
Tikka Masala
Tikka Masala Өдрийн өмнө
I have an idea: DONT GET MARRIED! PERIOD!
GamingManiac TV
GamingManiac TV Өдрийн өмнө
As an 18-year-old guy, who dreams of becoming a father their kids would be proud of, even the thought of not being able to be there from my future kids due to my future wife and the laws of my country, is devastating to the very least... I cannot imagine being a father who has no rights to be there for his children. It's a painful image... Not just for the father, but for the children too. No kid should be separated from their father. No court and no being can do that or should have the right to do that. Fathers are humans too, but they're easily forgotten because they're are taken for granted and that they always be there for their kids.. even though they can't due to court decisions. Please, if you're a young girl and you read all the way through that, when you become a mother, don't take the kids away from their father. He deserves to be in their lives too (with the exception of abuse).
CK Orpin
CK Orpin Өдрийн өмнө
I'd be interested to see the correlation between fatherlessness & Poverty. Women's work is underpaid, meaning if women are the sole breadwinners - even if a father were around - the family are still poorer. We know that poverty has significant effects on child development, too. It would certainly be interesting to see whether the Venn diagram covering fatherless children & poor children is just a circle, or if there are clear differences. "It takes a village to raise a child" - the data presented here certainly backs that up.
E S
E S Өдрийн өмнө
What this taught me is; don't get kids today as a man.
Lawrence Fox
Lawrence Fox Өдрийн өмнө
Men are no longer popular look at TV images Al Bundy , Homer Simpson , father knows best was 1960,s same with Ward Cleaver , contrast their portraying in these two different era what changed.
Robert Valitsky
Robert Valitsky Өдрийн өмнө
Such as shame........ Wowwwwww
Justin Burton
Justin Burton Өдрийн өмнө
Any dads going thru child custody, you should write letters to thier kids anytime you have thoughts about them and make a copy in case the mom throws them away. They will eventually come to you when they are older, so give them those letters in case you never get time with them
Mike Weaver
Mike Weaver Өдрийн өмнө
I learned far more humor from the Males in my Family. My father died when I was 7 in a car accident. As an only child I had to find ways to entertain myself. Thats how I turned out. After I got older and reflected back on how my Dad interacted with me and realize I missed out on alot. I'll never know how much but life goes on.
Matt
Matt Өдрийн өмнө
Just listen to bill burrs podcast and he’ll show you how messed up it is
Matt
Matt Өдрийн өмнө
The justice system is perversely aligned in women’s favor.
pete joao
pete joao 7 цагийн өмнө
I think it's our fault
Sonia G
Sonia G 16 цагийн өмнө
@Sineade Williams Yup.
Sonia G
Sonia G 16 цагийн өмнө
Not in California.
JohnnyNoPockets aka who Dat Gamecat
JohnnyNoPockets aka who Dat Gamecat 17 цагийн өмнө
@Derek Browning That's my point. Sineade said "sometimes" it's the mother that's the problem. Implying that it's usually the man that's a bad parent. She's sexist towards men, as is typical for most peasants worldwide these days.
Derek Browning
Derek Browning 17 цагийн өмнө
@JohnnyNoPockets aka who Dat Gamecat how do you figure? A mother is just as capable of of being an unfit parent as a father.
Phylene Brewer
Phylene Brewer Өдрийн өмнө
My sons time with his father isnt my concern, my sons fathers behavior is. Nice TED talk but those things matter. Narcissism and parental alienation is dangerous also
Eric Zimbrow
Eric Zimbrow Өдрийн өмнө
One of the best TedX Talks I've ever seen. Jocko Willink, and another talk on obesity being a national security issue, were the others.
Phranklin Englert
Phranklin Englert Өдрийн өмнө
Just found this video. Epic. Good work.
Jeepers McGee
Jeepers McGee Өдрийн өмнө
I love this presentation, but man the part at 5:38 is not fun for people without dads
Fabian Orozco Soto
Fabian Orozco Soto Өдрийн өмнө
The befitting weather july peep because apple inherently rub beyond a dusty divorced. exotic, ten flight
John Andrews
John Andrews Өдрийн өмнө
I'm in Canada and split from my ex when my child was 3. From (her) age 3 to 12 I payed the maximum child support under our law, plus my percentage of extraordinary expenses (many of which were trumped up nonsense), daycare, etc... often forcing me to eat rice and peas through the week so I could afford to feed my daughter properly when she would come on my access time. My ex decided to litigate everything. costing at least $5000 to $8000 per day in court each. At one point I won a case and the judge still made me pay her legal expenses (and we made the same income at that point and my lawyer said in 30 years he's never had a client win but still have to pay his ex's expenses)... and then my ex played the system thru parental alienation to have my access removed, through no wrong doing by me. Just pure vindictiveness. I've since lost my house and my life savings to legal expenses. I haven't seen my kid in over 5 years yet I still pay the max in child support and frankly I'm not even 100% sure the child is mine. I've also had two friends in similar situations kill themselves because the system is so slanted... sucide was what they saw as their only way out. And yet... no one who can legislate changes cares.
Eric Worthing
Eric Worthing Өдрийн өмнө
And this is why at 30 years old I have no children, and wanted it that way because my own mother taught me how women will weaponize the law and their own children against men at every turn and I don't want to go through that. I'll stick to having dogs.
Joseph Neilson
Joseph Neilson Өдрийн өмнө
Wow--all I can say is WOW! She speaks the truth!!!!
Rob Stansell
Rob Stansell Өдрийн өмнө
How do we come through this? We need mothers and fathers.
Liam Colotti
Liam Colotti Өдрийн өмнө
I’m taken aback to see this issue even acknowledged.
Tim Cummings
Tim Cummings 3 цагийн өмнө
what?
Travesty TV
Travesty TV Өдрийн өмнө
Modern Solution- Husband identify as female and say he’s the mom too!!!!!!!
shota tor
shota tor Өдрийн өмнө
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Johnathan Mango
Johnathan Mango Өдрийн өмнө
From a man that has fought for his child and now has a semi-amicable relationship with her mother, I approve this TED talk. Thank you Mrs. York for your accurate and powerful look into today's reality for Father's. It is much needed.
Johnathan Mango
Johnathan Mango 15 цагийн өмнө
@Sonia G break it down for me so I see your POV...
Sonia G
Sonia G 16 цагийн өмнө
Your approval is lop-sided. She practices in the desert full of sinners haha
Inside the Doors
Inside the Doors Өдрийн өмнө
How about you stop talking and change the the Fu@king divorce laws...But you won’t you sit their just grift about it
Alex Kearney
Alex Kearney Өдрийн өмнө
Incredible talk
We Do Live In A Society, Do We Not?
We Do Live In A Society, Do We Not? Өдрийн өмнө
This comment section is tearing me up... ;-;
Michael Ewing
Michael Ewing Өдрийн өмнө
This would be taken care of if men didn't have to pay support. Men resent having no say and having to pay a bill. Many women end up paying their own way anyway.
[J.P] _
[J.P] _ Өдрийн өмнө
Why does she sound like a radio sketch 😭
soysaucegirl2007
soysaucegirl2007 Өдрийн өмнө
Republican, robotic.
whyVPA
whyVPA Өдрийн өмнө
this shocked me an taught me my first lesson::Time Management I am not divorced, not even married ..i have test tomorrow why am i watching this..
Izz Zakwan
Izz Zakwan Өдрийн өмнө
This is fckin amazing! But that thumbnail does NOT give this TedTalk justice.
T1Oracle
T1Oracle Өдрийн өмнө
Men need to keep their pants on more and stop trying to impregnate people they don't have a healthy relationship with, and prior to having the foundation to raise a child.
Stephen Covey
Stephen Covey Өдрийн өмнө
They REALLY need to change the thumbnail on this video. She has this look of disgust on her face... Unless thats a total click bait tactic... 😆
L'sean Armatrading
L'sean Armatrading 2 өдрийн өмнө
Damn, really wish I had a dad right now.
Stephen-Jerubba'al Okelola
Stephen-Jerubba'al Okelola 2 өдрийн өмнө
Thank you Marilyn
Bill Sabado
Bill Sabado 2 өдрийн өмнө
I feel like the down votes are from bitter mothers that stumbled on to this video
Rich T
Rich T 19 цагийн өмнө
I was thinking the same thing.
SpiceBoy Og
SpiceBoy Og 2 өдрийн өмнө
6:15. Ha I don’t even have a father who was an influence in my life, I already know what it’s like. Wait a minute that’s depressing😂
TheAceOfSpades
TheAceOfSpades 2 өдрийн өмнө
Wish me luck. Going have my first hearing tomorrow morning and pretty defeated already. Have not seen my boy and girl in 3 months. This process has exhausted me mentally and physically.
Alejandro Ernesto Yepez Flores
Alejandro Ernesto Yepez Flores 12 цагийн өмнө
Friend dont give up, as i write this my soon slpeep over me, i could not live 3 months whitout him Dont give up
Jamie Culp
Jamie Culp 2 өдрийн өмнө
I feel like custody should be shared as equitably as possible when the parents are equally fit to parent. Having been a teacher, I used to see children with divorced parents in my classroom. One of the biggest stressors for children was acrimonious divorces. Inequalities in time with their children really fosters resentment and anger on the father's side. Divorces where parents talk negatively about each other and cannot work together on behalf of their children are -extremely- toxic and harmful. We also shouldn't be afraid of giving primary custody to fathers if the situation warrants it.
Stanton Parsons
Stanton Parsons 2 өдрийн өмнө
It's a shame this will never change.
james lagreca
james lagreca 2 өдрийн өмнө
no fault needs to change as well
aunderis kerensky
aunderis kerensky 2 өдрийн өмнө
as a father who fought for his own rights for over 3 years i salute this lady. spread your wonderful message, you rule.
Alison Parker
Alison Parker 2 өдрийн өмнө
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Suss Gabby Out
Suss Gabby Out 2 өдрийн өмнө
Love it! So true! Sharing it!
Stay Hydrated
Stay Hydrated 2 өдрийн өмнө
If you want divorce to go down, stop allowing the state to reward it. If you don't base your decisions on what's best for a child's future, then you were never fit to be a parent.
audbhitnote
audbhitnote 2 өдрийн өмнө
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Jason Freeman
Jason Freeman 2 өдрийн өмнө
Government hates competition. The laws and culture are about creating dependent serfs; the mothers and the children. Women are supported by government subsidies and forced contributions by the father while denying him his God-given rights. Now that the corrupt scheme is out of the bag it will never change. Men need to realize this, raise their standards and support strict monogamy. Perhaps a prenup agreement that lays out custody rights before getting into bed with insanity.
0U8123MTA3
0U8123MTA3 2 өдрийн өмнө
8:13 I do not understand why this data would be upsetting to mothers. Even the speaker says she is upset. I don't understand the upset but apparently the upset is why dad's are marginalized by society when the mom is upset for whatever reason. It's the children that pay the highest price to see families ripped apart by nonsense and corrupt legal systems.
cj engelwood
cj engelwood 2 өдрийн өмнө
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